My 300 foot tape measure and my stopwatch are nestled against my lock-top plastic tub full of paper airplanes. Athletes live in a world where things are rigidly measured. There’s comfort and fear built into that idea. I know my planes are great. Are they provably the best?

This afternoon, Cal hall-of-famer, Mike Pawlawski will attempt to throw my planes very hard. Having the can-do attitude and the will to win on my side helps. But this guy is a quarterback.

The last quarterback to throw my planes nearly ripped them in half trying to launch them. He snapped his wrist too violently and downward, the planes would nearly turn inside out and fall at his feet. This was an arena football player who could stand flat-footed and hit the goal post from 40 yards out. It sounded like a slam dunk; right up to the time he actually threw a plane.

And so it is; sand is running through the hour glass, falling right at September 26th. The date is set. The Blimp Hanger at Moffett Field is set. The airplanes are folded. My wimpy arm is benched while I search for a suitable launch vehicle. I booked all this because I thought my search had ended. I had found a quarterback. Then, my plans were turned inside out with a snapping, wrist wracking throw. Do you have any idea how small ten feet looks in a blimp hangar? Believe me; you don’t ever want to know.

So, up next on the new hit miniseries in my head, “So, You Think You Can Throw?”, Mike Pawlawski. A quarterback. I’m only a little worried. The new world record holder, for duration, claims he can make a 35 second throw. Great. I’m starting an international arms race.